I know passive-aggressive behavior when I see it, after all I was married to the king of passive-aggressive behavior. This is just another example of cowardly behavior, when guys don't have the balls to admit they did something wrong or forgot to do something or just didn't give a crap to do that thing in the first place! Right now I'm dealing with this behavior from my teenage son. Of course he would be good at it, after all, he comes by it naturally or should I say genetically. For those of you who have teenagers, I'm sure you see this all the time. You ask your child to do something and they don't do it for any number of reasons, ie they don't want to, they don't see the importance or most frequently, it just isn't about them! We all know how egocentric teenagers are or they wouldn't spend so much time in the bathroom. They're not in there getting clean, folks! But I digress. Beside my son's usual snarky behavior, now I have to add passive-aggressive behavior to the list of Things I Need To Change About My Son Before He Goes To College. I'm running out of time!!!!!!
What brought this on this morning I believe is, among other things I'm sure, the guilt of his receiving a Valentine's card and gift from me. He chose not to acknowledge either of these things probably hoping they will go away so he doesn't have to feel guilty over not getting me a card. I do accept "free" e cards so it's not a money thing. His father on the other hand used to spend money on me to assuage his feelings of guilt. A much better option in my opinion.
My son could also be feeling guilty over not buying the book he needs for school while at his father's this past weekend. This makes me wonder what actually goes on there as this has been a common theme over the past fifteen years! When I asked whether he bought the book all I got was a "I forgot". Maybe I will too. Can't do that, that would be passive-aggressive! It's not in my mom genes.
Maybe he just feels guilty about emotionally separating from me, you know, the whole "cutting of the apron strings". This phenomena usually occurs sometime during the early teen years and lasts until they leave home, finally! It's like they use negative behavior to imprint their memory on us. Sure, like we can forget the kid that we've taken care of all these years. Of course it is all about them.
Or maybe he's just a dick, after all he is male. Before you get all shocked by my attitude about my son, I have to say all parents feel this way about their children from time to time. I've seen little kids bring their parents to tears for some of the things they've said! And, I did give him a Valentine's card which professed my love and admiration.
To his future girlfriends and wife or wives, (not at the same time I hope) I did my best in raising him. I taught him to share his toys, do his own laundry, how to cook a few things and to say "I love you". I want my future daughter-in-law to like me. For those of you who will have to work with him, I'm sorry. I did the best I could. I'm sure somewhere in his twenties he will realize that he doesn't know everything, that there are a few people smarter than him and that he might be able to learn something from them. For me, I'm just hoping for a little respect. Is that too egocentric?
Monday, February 13, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Even the Dead Man Thought He Was A Catch!
Gone are the days when in order to be a "catch" a man had to have a job, an education or a promising future. It's seems that these days all a man needs is a pulse! Or so they think. I have to wonder what makes a man think he can get a woman who is clearly out of his league. My what big egos they have!
Foot fetishes, OCD behavior and really bad teeth, these are just a few of my experiences with on-line dating (things they failed to mention in their bios). Not exactly my idea of a catch. Remember the expression "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"? With this in mind I have to wonder why men show up dressed the way they do when first meeting someone. Don't they care how they come across or do they feel because they have a pulse we're lucky to meet them? If you're not going to put in the effort, don't expect to get anything out of it. Men need to take stock of their closets. Just because something still fits doesn't mean it should be worn! Don't wear your gym clothes to meet someone new, these aren't date clothes. You're just screaming "Hey, this isn't important to me".
We all know not to talk about our exes on a first date. Why do guys continue to do this? We get it guys, your ex is a bitch. Take comfort in the knowledge that she is tormenting someone else. Do you think by telling me your ex-wife's ex-husband has a jail record it's going to be a turn-on? Do you think complaining about how much child support you have to pay will make us fall for you? If you don't want to pay child support, have the balls to get a vasectomy!
Lastly (for now anyway) why are guys so lax in their hygiene? When did they stop going to the dentist? They expect to stick their tongues into our mouths but have forgotten that they need to get their teeth cleaned twice a year! Grow up, don't be afraid of the dentist. Remember, rotting teeth equals rotten breath. I met a man whose teeth were so bad it was like talking to Elmer Fudd! I could barely understand what he was saying. Scary stuff. It's not like the guy couldn't afford it, he drove a late model BMW and kept telling me how successful he was. Frankly I don't care what kind of car you drive if your hygiene habits are bad.
So when your guy friend asks you why he can't find a nice woman to date maybe you should take an objective look at him. Let's stop giving out those "I don't understand why you're still single. You're such a catch" (Of course I have yet to meet a woman who says she knows a great guy she'd like me to meet!) Let's help out these poor slobs and be tactful but honest. Let's suggest they lose the white tennis shoes and faded, ill fitting jeans. Maybe they can use a good haircut or their nose hair needs clipping. Enough with the Hawaiian shirts, this is the mainland after all! We will all be helping each other out by helping our guy friends. It's a win-win!
Foot fetishes, OCD behavior and really bad teeth, these are just a few of my experiences with on-line dating (things they failed to mention in their bios). Not exactly my idea of a catch. Remember the expression "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"? With this in mind I have to wonder why men show up dressed the way they do when first meeting someone. Don't they care how they come across or do they feel because they have a pulse we're lucky to meet them? If you're not going to put in the effort, don't expect to get anything out of it. Men need to take stock of their closets. Just because something still fits doesn't mean it should be worn! Don't wear your gym clothes to meet someone new, these aren't date clothes. You're just screaming "Hey, this isn't important to me".
We all know not to talk about our exes on a first date. Why do guys continue to do this? We get it guys, your ex is a bitch. Take comfort in the knowledge that she is tormenting someone else. Do you think by telling me your ex-wife's ex-husband has a jail record it's going to be a turn-on? Do you think complaining about how much child support you have to pay will make us fall for you? If you don't want to pay child support, have the balls to get a vasectomy!
Lastly (for now anyway) why are guys so lax in their hygiene? When did they stop going to the dentist? They expect to stick their tongues into our mouths but have forgotten that they need to get their teeth cleaned twice a year! Grow up, don't be afraid of the dentist. Remember, rotting teeth equals rotten breath. I met a man whose teeth were so bad it was like talking to Elmer Fudd! I could barely understand what he was saying. Scary stuff. It's not like the guy couldn't afford it, he drove a late model BMW and kept telling me how successful he was. Frankly I don't care what kind of car you drive if your hygiene habits are bad.
So when your guy friend asks you why he can't find a nice woman to date maybe you should take an objective look at him. Let's stop giving out those "I don't understand why you're still single. You're such a catch" (Of course I have yet to meet a woman who says she knows a great guy she'd like me to meet!) Let's help out these poor slobs and be tactful but honest. Let's suggest they lose the white tennis shoes and faded, ill fitting jeans. Maybe they can use a good haircut or their nose hair needs clipping. Enough with the Hawaiian shirts, this is the mainland after all! We will all be helping each other out by helping our guy friends. It's a win-win!
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