I know passive-aggressive behavior when I see it, after all I was married to the king of passive-aggressive behavior. This is just another example of cowardly behavior, when guys don't have the balls to admit they did something wrong or forgot to do something or just didn't give a crap to do that thing in the first place! Right now I'm dealing with this behavior from my teenage son. Of course he would be good at it, after all, he comes by it naturally or should I say genetically. For those of you who have teenagers, I'm sure you see this all the time. You ask your child to do something and they don't do it for any number of reasons, ie they don't want to, they don't see the importance or most frequently, it just isn't about them! We all know how egocentric teenagers are or they wouldn't spend so much time in the bathroom. They're not in there getting clean, folks! But I digress. Beside my son's usual snarky behavior, now I have to add passive-aggressive behavior to the list of Things I Need To Change About My Son Before He Goes To College. I'm running out of time!!!!!!
What brought this on this morning I believe is, among other things I'm sure, the guilt of his receiving a Valentine's card and gift from me. He chose not to acknowledge either of these things probably hoping they will go away so he doesn't have to feel guilty over not getting me a card. I do accept "free" e cards so it's not a money thing. His father on the other hand used to spend money on me to assuage his feelings of guilt. A much better option in my opinion.
My son could also be feeling guilty over not buying the book he needs for school while at his father's this past weekend. This makes me wonder what actually goes on there as this has been a common theme over the past fifteen years! When I asked whether he bought the book all I got was a "I forgot". Maybe I will too. Can't do that, that would be passive-aggressive! It's not in my mom genes.
Maybe he just feels guilty about emotionally separating from me, you know, the whole "cutting of the apron strings". This phenomena usually occurs sometime during the early teen years and lasts until they leave home, finally! It's like they use negative behavior to imprint their memory on us. Sure, like we can forget the kid that we've taken care of all these years. Of course it is all about them.
Or maybe he's just a dick, after all he is male. Before you get all shocked by my attitude about my son, I have to say all parents feel this way about their children from time to time. I've seen little kids bring their parents to tears for some of the things they've said! And, I did give him a Valentine's card which professed my love and admiration.
To his future girlfriends and wife or wives, (not at the same time I hope) I did my best in raising him. I taught him to share his toys, do his own laundry, how to cook a few things and to say "I love you". I want my future daughter-in-law to like me. For those of you who will have to work with him, I'm sorry. I did the best I could. I'm sure somewhere in his twenties he will realize that he doesn't know everything, that there are a few people smarter than him and that he might be able to learn something from them. For me, I'm just hoping for a little respect. Is that too egocentric?
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